I’ve wondered a lot why class is the hill I am willing to die on. I feel so glad when I think about prisons and private schools closing. I found out recently that the prison I visited my Dad in was declared by a judge in court as like a holiday camp.

I get pissed off with people saying “They have TV you know.” Firstly, how oblivious. What holiday camps do you know where people and sometimes babies die of neglect?

As a kid my dad would write to me from prison, telling me the food was better than at home and how nice this or that was. I guess he didn’t want me to worry.

Obviously holiday performativity is one way of blagging your way though so you can’t be hurt by reality. I used to do this sort of thing at shit jobs i’ve worked.

But when people who know nothing about prison say this it doesn’t mean the same thing at all. People are complaining a lot about the lockdown and I’m thinking? You got an xbox?

Performativity is a great way to muster dignity for the tough bits of life. My gender gives me a little something nice I can’t explain that makes life feel doable. And I’m leaning on being on holiday hard to get though today. I’ve got the heating on too high, I’ve got bad sunglasses on and I’m listening to Holiday by Madonna. I notice, she says, IF we took a holiday IT WOULD be so nice. And I realise she’s faking it too.

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